| Apr 6, 2012 | 6:40 AM | 7:46 PM | 13h 05m 36s | + 3m 08s | 1:13 PM | 51.3° | 149.732 |
I was wondering how I was going to go from sunrise to sunset with a day of silence. This meant no talking, no music, no reading, no phone, email, text, media, etc. As it turned out I ended up getting the flu on Tuesday afternoon. Because of my state and how weak I was am, I decided that I should use this opportunity. I decided not to write a to do list and just go about my day, as this would involve writing and reading. I had plenty to catch up on as my life halted but everything else had moved forward. Today was the first day that I started feeling a little better. It was in my best interest to pretty much clean up. I started by washing my bedding, cleaning the bathroom and kitchen. However, my body said you can't do all that and I had to take breaks and did so by napping, resting, drinking tea and doing a little knitting.
For the most part I did not speak...ok I broke twice by accident. Both times were to the dog....who else am I going to talk to. I might have talked to myself out loud, but that is questionable because when one cannot speak there are so many thought running through one's head.
So my first incident went like this...first you must have some backstory. I haven't had an appetite at all. Yesterday I forced myself to eat solid food after stepping on the scale and noticing I had dropped 10 lbs and had a freak out moment because I'm running a marathon at the end of the month and I cannot compromise my training. Today, I noticed I was hungry, so around 3 pm I actually cooked up ground beef, sauteed orange bell peppers, added spices, black beans and created a delicious taco salad. Roms was sniffing at the table and the words automatically flew out of my mouth - "No, get away from there". I grimaced and then negative self talk started within my head..."why did you do that"? "that was so dumb". Then I started to justify..."well, it's out of habit", "I was caught off guard", "this is my first experience doing this and I'm not a retreat where all distractions including Roms is not there". Then I remembered that mistakes in life are often gifts. I feel that, in general, most people are too afraid to make mistakes and how can one grow or learn without making mistakes.
So I moved on. I thought a lot about the last time I had the flu. I couldn't go anywhere for two weeks, who was there for me, the relationships I had then and the ones I still have now. The new relationships I've formed since then and how some of my relationships have changed over time. Then I felt gratitude for the family and friends in my life, the experiences I've had and the life I choose to live.
I know that life in solitude is not a life, at least for me. I have always found my energy around people and I am a verbal processor. This was good lesson for me to look inward. Maybe at the very least to gain a better understanding of my introverted friends.
When the alarm rang on my phone, I turned it off and instead of calling someone I turned on my computer and started writing. I still feel and believe I am not done processing all of this because I haven't "talked" it out. I'm sure as the days pass, my insight will become more clear. What I decide to do with that insight will be the shift in perspective and possible change(s) that I may make from here on out.
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| Knitting a scarf |
For the most part I did not speak...ok I broke twice by accident. Both times were to the dog....who else am I going to talk to. I might have talked to myself out loud, but that is questionable because when one cannot speak there are so many thought running through one's head.
So my first incident went like this...first you must have some backstory. I haven't had an appetite at all. Yesterday I forced myself to eat solid food after stepping on the scale and noticing I had dropped 10 lbs and had a freak out moment because I'm running a marathon at the end of the month and I cannot compromise my training. Today, I noticed I was hungry, so around 3 pm I actually cooked up ground beef, sauteed orange bell peppers, added spices, black beans and created a delicious taco salad. Roms was sniffing at the table and the words automatically flew out of my mouth - "No, get away from there". I grimaced and then negative self talk started within my head..."why did you do that"? "that was so dumb". Then I started to justify..."well, it's out of habit", "I was caught off guard", "this is my first experience doing this and I'm not a retreat where all distractions including Roms is not there". Then I remembered that mistakes in life are often gifts. I feel that, in general, most people are too afraid to make mistakes and how can one grow or learn without making mistakes.
So I moved on. I thought a lot about the last time I had the flu. I couldn't go anywhere for two weeks, who was there for me, the relationships I had then and the ones I still have now. The new relationships I've formed since then and how some of my relationships have changed over time. Then I felt gratitude for the family and friends in my life, the experiences I've had and the life I choose to live.
I know that life in solitude is not a life, at least for me. I have always found my energy around people and I am a verbal processor. This was good lesson for me to look inward. Maybe at the very least to gain a better understanding of my introverted friends.
When the alarm rang on my phone, I turned it off and instead of calling someone I turned on my computer and started writing. I still feel and believe I am not done processing all of this because I haven't "talked" it out. I'm sure as the days pass, my insight will become more clear. What I decide to do with that insight will be the shift in perspective and possible change(s) that I may make from here on out.
Every time I've taken the Meyers-Briggs I come out as an extrovert... but I have spent a majority of my life alone and so I actually enjoy being on my own more than I suspect most "E"s do. It's good to have some time of quiet.
ReplyDeleteI think there is a misconception about introversion and extroversion, especially when it comes to the MBTI. An extrovert gets their energy from the outer world, being around people and often processing verbally. For introverts they process internally with their thoughts before verbally expressing and can be social but may need down time. Often extroverts can suck the energy from introverts...even myself as an extrovert have met a few people who couldn't stop talking and felt drained. I too enjoy time by myself and this has developed over time. If I have made it sound like introverts live their life alone, then I did not express myself correctly.
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